Wednesday, February 16, 2011

All Stressed Out

It's funny that everyone agrees how terrible stress is, yet we all approach it differently. For example, when my son is stressed he doesn't eat. Generally he says his stomach hurts, so he's not hungry. But we can usually track it back to something upsetting him. It doesn't matter whether he is angry with us for taking his cell phone, worried about a chemistry test, or annoyed that someone called him a name; stress is stress and he quits eating. I often wish I had this response to life's pressures because then I'd be svelte and fashionable. Instead, I eat junk food (especially chips) and stay awake at least half the night. During the nocturnal silence I often play conversations over and over wishing I had said something different (especially to that annoying parent, co-worker, or administrator) or watch QVC hosts attempt to convince me I need a $300 Dooney and Burke handbag. Either way, the lack of sleep just adds to the weight I carry around my middle. I'm pretty sure that Jade's response as well as my own are normal reactions that many people share. Jeff, however, has a totally different way of dealing with stress. He shuts down - literally.

Third quarter is always difficult because he has multiple choir festivals on successive weekends. Compound those preparations with the fact that he is the regional choir chair (which means he has to organize a weekend full of auditions and then the festival itself), and his days off become few and far between from January to March. Jeff's response is usually to plow through until spring break. However, this year has been particularly hard. There was a computer glitch during the audition process which caused problems figuring out who made the choir and who didn't. Once that was straightened out, the guest conductor became a real pain in the backside. (She had been prior to auditions, but the problems became worse the more Jeff had to work with her.) She is demanding, rude, and haughty. As a result, Jeff has spent a good deal of time trying to accommodate and appease her, often to no avail. Today, as he worked to finish the final preparations for this weekend's festival, he received an email from the state choir chair saying that she and Jeff should take the director to dinner tomorrow night. I think that was the last straw, because the mere thought of having to entertain this person for a couple of hours sent Jeff into overload. His body just shut down. (This is hard to explain, but envision the opposite of a panic attack. Instead of a racing heart, skyrocketing blood pressure, and hyperventilation, Jeff's pulse drops radically, he falls over abruptly, and might even pass out.) Needless to say, this can be frightening, though over the last few years we've learned how to cope. So, when this happened at school today, Jade and I jumped in to walk Jeff around a little (to get the blood moving) and then we sent him home to sleep.

Interestingly, sleep seems to be the one magic cure all for stress around here. Once Jeff's had a nap, he's back to normal. Once Jade gets some sleep, he stops worrying and can eat once again. Once I manage a full night of rest, I can function without massive doses of coffee, aspirin, and potato chips. If the three of us could manage to get 8 hours of sleep every night - all at the same time - we might be able to change the world (or at least handle the problems it sends our way).

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