Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Time and Time, Again

This year the talk at school has been about how to "remove time from the equation" meaning how to help kids who get a concept more slowly than others by giving them extra time and support to work through the process without penalizing them. In theory this sounds good, and I can even see how it will work (to some extent) in the classroom. However, as I've discovered over and over again this year, time is a factor in our lives that cannot be ignored. While there are many words of wisdom that proclaim (in one way or another) that time is relative, I'm not buying it. My life revolves around a clock - time is of the essence for me every single day. After all, the bell rings and class starts; the bell rings again and it ends. Five minutes later, another class period starts. Eventually we get to lunch - at a specific and preordained time every day - and we reach the end of the break. The bell rings a few more times and the day is over, sort of. Tutoring time comes next; music lessons come later, along with club meetings, staff meetings, and department meetings. Messages pop up on my phone at 15 to 20 minute intervals with reminders of where I should be and with whom I should be speaking. Whew! Then, by the time we get home, it's time for supper, a load of laundry, checking e-mail, and maybe watching a little television before my head hits the pillow.

All of this talk of time and scheduling does, indeed, have a point: I feel time (read my life) slipping through my fingers. Lists of what I'd like to do are as long as lists of what I have to do. So, I tried some simplification. Perhaps this blog demands too much of my attention since it is added to the nightly routine of family obligations. Thus, about 10 days ago I called it quits. But, here's the rub - I miss it. I'll admit that my evenings have been calmer, more relaxed without penning a few hundred words every night. I've actually cooked dinner several nights in a row (yes, including pot roast and Mexicali pork chops), which makes everyone in the house happy. I've purchased some scrap booking materials to resume one of my favorite hobbies. I've even managed to sit in the spa sipping a martini three times this week. What I haven't done is write. While these thoughts may not be the great American novel, the act of writing something every day does keep me focused on the task and the page. Perhaps, rather than give up this forum completely, I should just schedule it better. I'm thinking a few nights a week for Cobwebs and Clutter and a few others for working on some fiction. After all, I did manage to do some editing over the last few days, and I am ready to send my first novel out into the world (I think). But I'm also ready to start another project or pull something off the back burner because all those stories won't write themselves and time just keeps ticking away never to be regained.

I wish the educational reforms being batted around at school applied to all of life. I wish time really could be removed from the equation, but perhaps there is a reason we all watch those precious seconds go tick-tock. Perhaps it reminds us that our lives are finite, and so we must accomplish as much as we can while we're here. It would be grand if I could put off that next project until I felt like doing it or stop writing something every day, at least until time caught up with me and it was all gone. The sense of satisfaction at having accomplished something, having finished something, having done something would be denied me. So, here I am, trying once again to find something worthwhile to say, where I always return - time after time.

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